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Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!!!
OM To OghamPlato observed that the advent of an alphabet making writing efficient for average people actually lead to less .....
Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!!! By Kimberly
Chastain , MS, LMFT www.kimberlychastain.com/parenting
Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent child
and replaced them with a monster? Are you confused that somehow
you have gone from knowing everything as a parent, to knowing
absolutely nothing? Welcome to being a parent of a
preteen/teenager. It is a brave new world. Being a
preteen/teenager is difficult and being a parent of one is
difficult as well. In this article, I will address just a few of
the many normal aspects of adolescence and how to survive as a
parent.
Menopause CouplesCouples going through menopause often have unique struggles when coping with the new changes and challenges it brings to them both as .....
I have been a therapist for over 18 years now and have seen
hundreds of adolescents. If I had a dollar for every time a
parent said to me, If I talked the way my kids talk to me when
I was a child I wouldnt be able to get off the floor. I would
be rich. Yes, talking back is normal. I also quickly add not
acceptable. Our society through TV programs and in general does
not show respect. Most sitcoms delight in making the parents
look like idiots, gone are the days of the strong parents like
the Cosby family. So, our society does not show respect and our
children model that with us. Another normal aspect of
preteen/teenagers is to think their parents know very little due
to us growing up with dinosaurs or at least without VCRS much
less DVD players, anyway. Most adolescents get all their
information from their peers, who unfortunately dont always
give good advice. Acting like a baby one minute and an adult
the next is extremely common. It is an extremely confusing time
for them. Part of them craves the security and the easiness of
childhood and another part needs the freedom and independence
of being adult (they often forget the responsibility part). So,
as a parent you are never really sure who you are talking to at
any given moment. Do I have the baby who wants my support or
am I talking to the adult who wants to make his or her own
decisions? We often pick the wrong one.
So, what can a parent due to survive? In my e-book, Help My
Preteen/Teenager Is Driving Me Nuts!!! I list several
strategies. Here are a few of those strategies.
1. When your child is talking back. Do not engage in
conversation with them and certainly do not do something special
for them, like taking them to the mall. 2. Try not to give
Back To CYA On A MissionSix former wards came back to the California Youth Authority (CYA) earlier this month. This time they ..... unsolicited advice. Im not saying quit parenting all together,
but advice is often listened to more when your child asks for it.
3. Make sure you spend time listening to your children. Take any
opportunity even if it is at 11:00pm to listen when your child
is willing to talk. 4. Talk to the parents of your childs
friends and have a curfew that everyone agrees on. There is
strength in numbers for parents as well. Then, you can say not
everyone gets to stay out later than your child.
5. Talk to other parents for support. Often, when our children
are small we share a lot with other parents. Sometimes, when our
children get to be teenagers we keep silent. It really helps to
know you are not the only parent having a difficult time.
In conclusion, it is tough being a teenager and a parent of one,
but everyone involved can survive. Remember the favorite phrase,
This too shall pass. You didnt think your children would ever
get out of diapers and now look, they are teenagers. Teenagers
still need you, so stay involved in their lives. Learn about
their friends and be willing to listen at anytime. Also,
remember some of their seemingly strange quirks are really quite
normal.
2005 Kimberly Chastain
About the author:
Christian LoveActually, loving does not take any great effort on our part because it is not something we must put forth great effort to achieve. ..... Kimberly Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach
and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She was recently
featured in the book the Myth of the Perfect Mother. She is the
author of Help, I Just Cant Say No and Pearls of
Encouragement for Christian Working Moms. To schedule a free,
initial coaching session send an email to
free@kimberlychastain.com or visit
http://www.christianworkingmom.com.
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